took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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