She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Is it penis luge time yet?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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