Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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