I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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