I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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