okay pat passed out under dana's car
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
