Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Soap is not a condiment

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'll bet she douches with gravy.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.

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(302): View more from Delaware

just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(251): View more from Alabama

When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?

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(407): View more from Florida

Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs

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(443): View more from Maryland

Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.

(1-443): View more from Maryland

I love my life

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