and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
