I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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