Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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