we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
