He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
