I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm too high and old for this...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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