I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize