Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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