Where did you get a picture of my penis
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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