i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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