you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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