At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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