Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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