Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
