Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize