We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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