you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
