I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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