You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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