Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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