Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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