..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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