I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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