It's like God shit irony all over that family
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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