I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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