Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
