pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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