he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
