My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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