Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
