He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
