With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
