Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
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But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
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You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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