Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
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So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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