somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
