GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
