Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
