RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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