i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
