I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I can't put those talents on a resume
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
