if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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