maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
