WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
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