Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
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He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just want to make out with him forever
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize