I cockslap morals
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
