a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize