And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
