Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize