Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
