what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
