its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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