And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
