i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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